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Why Clear and Concise is the Proposal Writer's Best Friend!

by: O. Jeffrey (Bud) Pettingill

Take a look at the following typical proposal sentence:

“During phase-in, our Facilities Services Branch Manager performs all required inventories in conjunction with Government-authorized representatives, and in time frames specified by the RFP.”

Does it seem OK to you? In fact, it is an evaluator’s worst nightmare.

Here’s why.

An evaluator’s mandate is to analyze objectively the extent to which a competitor’s proposal complies with the RFP. To ensure a level playing field, evaluators are expressly forbidden from interpreting intent; i.e., evaluating written material based on what they thought you meant. In other words, no matter how OK it may seem to you at the time you wrote it, if an evaluator deems it the least bit vague or misleading, he is obliged to mark it non-compliant.

With that in mind, let’s go back and take a closer look at the previous sentence.

“During phase-in, our Facilities Services Branch Manager performs all required inventories …”

Wrong! The FSB Manager performs only those inventories related to his facilities operations and maintenance branch functions, which of course is what you meant. Unfortunately, that’s not what you said, and what you said is only and exactly what the evaluator must go on.

“…in conjunction with Government-authorized representatives,”

Almost certainly the RFP or PWS states which Government-authorized representative(s) oversee facilities maintenance functions. If you’ve read the RFP/PWS, you should know this and are obliged to let the Evaluation Committee know you know.

“… and in timeframes specified by the RFP.”

Again, if you’ve read the RFP/PWS thoroughly, you should know that the specified timeframe is “ten days prior to contract start.” Or, “five days after contract start.” Whatever that timeframe, no doubt it says so in the solicitation and it is your obligation to let the evaluator know that you know.

Here is an example of how that sentence should have been written:

“During phase-in, our Facilities Services Branch Manager coordinates with the Installation’s Property Administrator to ensure that all facilities maintenance-related inventories are complete no later than five days prior to contract start.”

Granted, it doesn’t seem like that big a difference until you multiply the poor writing quality and misleading information over the course of an entire proposal.

If you need further proof of the importance of “keeping it simple and saying it plain,” consider your own everyday experiences with inter-office memos, text messages, E-mails, product manuals, internet research articles, and the like.

What do you want from such material? You want it to get to the point, do you not, as quickly, clearly, concisely, and accurately as possible?

So do the folks who evaluate proposals for the Government.

And when you read something that is clear, concise, well-written, and to-the-point, are you not less inclined to find fault with it, regardless of its content? Conversely, when you are forced to read something that is garbled, poorly written, and confusing, are you not more inclined to judge it harshly?

So do the folks who evaluate proposals for the Government.

In the intensely competitive world of Federal Government contracting, a clear, concise, well-written, compliant proposal will open more windows-of-opportunity than any other single factor.

O. J. “Bud” Pettingill is co-founder and Director of Business Development for Federal Database Services, Inc., one of the industry’s longest-running proposal preparation firms. He can be reached at (561) 776-7083.